I’m definitely a ‘get on with it’ kind of girl. I’m proud of being a strong, independent woman. Even as a little girl my mum said I was like an old lady. Straight headed & organised, the one who thinks things through and gets things done.I‘m not really one to talk about my problems. That doesn’t mean I bottle them up, don’t let people in or that I’m hard faced. It just means that I don’t like to dwell on things. I like to learn from it and deal with it head on.
Life isn’t easy for anyone, especially when you are a special needs parent. You have a lot of responsibility and a lot of stress. You are your child’s protector, their advocate, their fighter, their everything. There’s so much going on every single day and night that you just have to get on with, you just don’t have time for anything else. There is no other way. That’s life, you just deal with whatever needs to be dealt with.
And just like any parents, you don’t share every thing.
You don’t tell me what normally happens day to day. We catch up when we can, we have little updates. We laugh and talk and sometimes drink!
I don’t always tell you when I’ve had a bad night’s sleep, when Archie has kept me up all night, when he’s been up 5, 6 or 10 times a night. I don’t always tell you when I haven’t even been to bed, or when I’ve only managed to grab an hours sleep in the early hours of the morning before my day starts again. Or when I’m totally exhausted that I can barely think straight, because that happens every night. That’s my normal.
I don’t always tell you about the poo smearing, the hands in the toilet, the peeing on the floor and splashing around in it, the spitting or throwing food, because that happens most days. That’s my normal.
I don’t always tell you about his sensory issues, when he’s refusing to eat for days or refusing to get dressed. Kicking and screaming as he doesn’t want to put his school uniform on or leave the house. That’s my normal.
I don’t always tell you about every appointment we go to, every speech therapy session, every occupational therapy session, when we see the behavioural psychologist or the paediatrician, or every meeting at school. They happen several times a week, pretty much every week. That’s my normal.
After hours talking to so many professionals about Archie’s struggles, sensory issues and developmental delays I’m drained. I’m done, I don’t want to repeat it all over again. I don’t need to repeat it all over again. I don’t need to dwell on what he can’t do, I want to focus on what he can do.
I’m drained, I don’t have the energy to focus on the negatives. When I have to discuss I will but I don’t want it to be all I talk about, because if I did to talk to you about everything that goes with being a special needs parent, I’d never talk about anything else.
It’s not that I’m not letting you in, being hard faced, bottling it up or that I don’t want to talk about my problems. This is my normal and I’ve adapted to that, and accepted that. We have adjusted our lives to embrace and accommodate Archie’s autism. He’s our little super star, our little angel, and we adore every single thing about him.
It’s not that I don’t want to talk to you about my problems, it’s just that they’re not problems, this is just my normal.
But if I do need to talk, I know I can