I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT…

Being a Special Needs Mama I hear it all the time. I don't know how you do it?

I don’t know how you do it.

I hear this quite a lot, but you do, do it. You have to. No one else is going to do it for you.

Being a parent of a child with special needsΒ is hard work but so is being a parent to any child. Nobody has it easy, and yes there are other obstacles we need to overcome, extra issues. Some days are absolutely crazy and you’re running on empty, but you just keep going because what other option is there?

You have to deal with the therapy, the meltdowns, the sensory issues, the problems with food, the lack of sleep. You have to work, a business to run, a house to keep clean, laundry to do, kids to look after…

The hardest days for me are the ones when we’ve had no sleep. Archie just doesn’t need sleep in the regular way. He’s never slept through the night, now he’s three his sleep is worse than when he was a newborn. In fact a good night is him waking about five times a night. A normal night is him waking around 7-10 times a night, and a bad night, well I might not even get to bed. He regularly pulls an all nighter, sleeping from about 8pm until 11ish then awake literally all night maybe falling back to sleep about 7am for an hour or so.

How do you function on such little sleep? You just keep going. Some mornings I’ve been stood in the kitchen trying my hardest to figure out how to make a cup of tea. You’re so tired you know what you want to do, you just can’t quite figure out how. These are the days when you feel like you can’t keep going, that you are done, that you have nothing left to give.

Being a parent to a special needs child gymbunnymummy.om @gymbunnymum

Then you get a cheeky smile from the little boy that struggles with eye contact.

You get a ‘ma mam ma’ from the little boy that can’t talk.

You get a cuddle from a little boy that has issues with touch.

Your heart fills with a love so strong that it can get you through anything.

You put the kettle on and get on with your day knowing that little boy is so special. That you are the most important thing in your kids life. That your boys are your reason for living.

Yes it’s hard and sometimes I don’t know how I do it, but then I look at my kids & I know. I do it for them.

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32 Comments

  1. March 3, 2016 / 11:37 pm

    I can very much relate to this post. I have 2 daughters with Autism that don’t need much sleep at all, a 5 year old that wakes numerous times and then likes to lie with me from about 3 o clock and a son with ADD who sleeps well but likes to get up very early. But my eldest is 14 so Ive just gotten used to it and before I had my children I use to wonder how people with special needs children managed too but when it comes down to it, its just something we all just do πŸ™‚ I feel very lucky to have my children and especially when I go to my elests special needs school and see how some of the little loves suffer. I enjoyed your post, im going to read moer of your blog πŸ™‚

    • March 16, 2016 / 8:09 pm

      Thanks for such a lovely comment Samantha, it sounds like you well & truly have your hands full too. It’s hard being a special needs mama but it’s hard being a mama full stop, when it comes down to it, you just plough on regardless xx
      gymbunnymum recently posted…HOW TO START A BLOG IN 6 SIMPLE STEPSMy Profile

  2. March 15, 2016 / 11:56 am

    Fab post. It’s very true, even in those hardest times you just keep going. And those precious moments of a hug and smile is so worth it. Even more so when you have a child with a special need x

  3. March 15, 2016 / 4:35 pm

    Ahh hon. Like you have a choice right? Hope this week has got better for you and its a good sleep week. xxxx

    • March 16, 2016 / 8:11 pm

      Thanks sweet, we’re full of flu this week so no better on the sleep front but I have had extra cuddles so every cloud & all that x
      gymbunnymum recently posted…MATERNITY MONDAYS | 14TH MARCHMy Profile

  4. March 15, 2016 / 6:30 pm

    What a beautiful post Hun. You do great and are an amazing mummy πŸ™‚
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  5. March 19, 2016 / 12:18 am

    What a wonderful way to word it. It’s true that this parenting thing is certainly not easy! We all just keep plugging away because our kids are worth every last stressful, tired, moment.

  6. March 19, 2016 / 6:23 pm

    I’m struggling along with no sleep because of my 4 month old at the moment. But at least I (hopefully) have an end in sight. I find making a cuppa really difficult and if there’s a few to make it could take hours! Fair play to you x

    • March 21, 2016 / 4:22 pm

      Once you’ve got kids you rarely get a decent or warm cuppa! All part of the job I suppose πŸ˜‰ x
      gymbunnymum recently posted…MEAL PLANNING MONDAY #29My Profile

  7. March 19, 2016 / 10:35 pm

    Snuggles and cuddles from the little people in our lives are truly the best thing ever but it must be really tough going when your constantly sleep deprived. Fair play to you for keeping going everyday!

  8. March 20, 2016 / 2:20 pm

    sleep deprivation is a form of torture.. but as you said his little smile makes it all worth while x you have to look after yourself too tho x have you any family to help.. just so you could go back to bed for an hour on a Saturday/ Sunday.. by the sounds of it you are doing an amazing job x and with them little flashes of smiles .. your son thinks the same x

    • March 21, 2016 / 4:29 pm

      it really is a form of torture! The issue is that if someone else looks after him it really upsets his rigid routine which in turn gives me an even worse following night so it’s just not worth it. His Grandma had him for a couple of hours one Sunday and it affected his sleep & behaviour for five days πŸ™
      gymbunnymum recently posted…MATERNITY MONDAYS | 21ST MARCHMy Profile

  9. March 20, 2016 / 9:39 pm

    It must be incredibly hard for you but when they’re your child I bet it doesn’t feel hard, it just feels normal. x

  10. March 20, 2016 / 10:17 pm

    This brought a tear to my eye, it must be hard not having any sleep but those touches of affection. I hope you manage to catch up at the times. You are right though our lives are our children x
    MudpieFridays recently posted…Sand Covered Easter Egg DecorationsMy Profile

    • March 21, 2016 / 4:32 pm

      Aww thanks so much. It’s so hard but it’s so worth it too. I’d rather have my amazing kids than a good night’s sleep any day x
      gymbunnymum recently posted…THE SUNDAY KITCHEN LINKY #4My Profile

  11. March 20, 2016 / 10:30 pm

    I have no experience of this myself but as a mum I can’t imagine how hard it must be. I have friends with disabled children and I have no idea how they manage! You’re my heroes to be quite honest!

    Em xXx

  12. March 21, 2016 / 6:39 am

    Lovely to read and I agree a cuddle, a kiss, it all makes it feel worth it in the end and extra special when it might be more of a rare occasion.

  13. March 21, 2016 / 12:25 pm

    This is a really lovely post πŸ™‚
    You’re a brilliant mum and you have two very lucky kids πŸ™‚
    Laura xx
    Laura @ Dot Makes 4 recently posted…Supporting WomenMy Profile

  14. March 22, 2016 / 10:17 am

    Gosh. You certainly do have your hands full, and I really feel for you on the sleep front. That must be so tough going but you sound to me to be a wonderfully dedicated Mummy. Your boys are very lucky to have you.
    I think that love conquers all really, doesn’t it? even sleep deprivation!
    great post,
    Anna x

  15. March 23, 2016 / 2:31 pm

    Having children is full of so many rewards. Some parents seem to have a few more challenges to get those rewards, but then I guess that’s what makes them more special. Lovely post

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