This is exactly how I feel right now.
It’s been a hard few weeks, lot’s of small things have happened that have had a big impact. They’ve chipped away at the edges, I’ve shed a few tears but I’m okay.
Archie’s Autism has had more of an impact on the family recently and as his primary carer, on me recently. His sleep problems have gone from bad to worse, with some nights not even going to bed, just dozing on the sofa for an hour about 6am before we’re back up for the day.
I’ve had some pretty big meetings in regards to Archie’s Special Needs at nursery and how this may impact him at school. Just like many parents throughout the country we’re having to fight to get him the support he needs. The waiting list for his Autism assessment & diagnosis is at least 12 months, which will be past the deadline for applying to Primary schools therefore it’s likely he’ll be starting school without the correct educational plan in place which is so stressful and it’s my job to lead the battle with the right organisations to get the right care & support for him.
Parenting my gorgeous little man every day is the easy part, there’s lot’s of challenges to over come as he’s non verbal and can’t communicate his needs. He has serious issues with food, textures, sensory processing problems but this we can deal with, he’s our little boy, we get through each day as it comes.
The constant phone call to different agencies trying to get the right support, the constant change in speech therapists (we’re waiting for number 9 to contact us), the various appointments, the stack of paperwork I have to manage. Every day is crammed full from start to finish, battling constantly for my little boy.
Then factor in the fact that I have a business to run. If I don’t work our bills don’t get paid. Giving up work to care for Archie just isn’t an option at the moment, we need the money.
I’m exhausted, mentally & physically but I’m okay. I’ll get through each day, I’ll keep fighting for my little man.
I’m okay, not great, not horrible, not amazing, just okay. And that’s okay