On Saturday morning I wrote a post titled ‘So this is me…’ where I was honest about my depression & anxiety issues along with my low self confidence & body image, and I was feeling positive. Then on Saturday night I had a complete meltdown…
We had a lovely night in, enjoying a glass of wine & a movie. I was in my comfy PJ’s which were shorts so my hubby being the cheeky buggar he is (which I love him for) decided to take a cheeky little pic of me bending over to reach something in the fridge. Normally this would not have bothered me in the slightest & we’d have had such a giggle about it but this time I instantly burst into tears when he showed me the photo. The back of my thighs looked horrendous, they looked huge & dimply and I couldn’t help my reaction, I cried my eyes out demanding he delete the pic immediately.
He did not know what to do with himself, he was so upset that he’d upset me but didn’t get why it had made me cry. Over & over he told how beautiful I was and how much he loves my legs and bum and how amazing I look in my little PJ’s which was why he took the pic in the first place. My hubby is an amazing man, not just for trying to comfort me but because I know he means it. He can’t hide the cheeky look on his face when I’m wearing a short skirt or a tight top, and for that I love him so much. He makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. But it’s me that has the issue, I felt ridiculous once I’d calmed down, I was shocked by my extreme reaction & the hatred I felt for myself when I saw that photo. Sunday was a hard day to get through, I had to battle with myself to eat properly but with the support of my hubby and some lovely Twitter friends I got through the day. Then this morning when we woke up he told me again how beautiful I am and how much he loves every inch of me and I feel ready to face the week ahead.
Depression & low self confidence can be a bitch but I’m working on it, one day at a time.