Things have been a bit crazy at home recently, we’ve had so much going on. I really need to get a grip & take control.I‘m a busy work from home mama running my own business, I’ve got a teenager that has just finished his GCSEs and officially left school and applying for apprenticeships, I’ve got a little man with autism & additional needs that just doesn’t sleep, and a husband that works long hours, six days a week, and an absolutely crazy, unpredictable extended family.
It’s been a bit of an emotional minefield under our roof that past couple of months. I’m a bit of a control freak so it really hasn’t helped that I’ve felt I’ve lost control over a few things recently. But I’ve come to understand that you can’t keep a grip of everything. You can drive yourself crazy stressing about things, I know, I do it to myself all the time but it’s not so easy just to let go.
I need to have a certain element of control to stay sane, to know things are going to be ok. I like to know what’s happening next, I like things to be done a certain way but at the same time I really do need to know when to let go.
There’s a few things I’ve come to realise and a few things I need to work on but here goes…
DO ONE THING AT A TIME
When life’s getting pretty hectic and you’re feeling totally overwhelmed it’s so easy to fall into a pit of nothingness. You’re non stop busy but don’t seem to be achieving anything, your to do list is just getting longer and longer and it feels like you’ll never regain control.
You’ve got work stuff piling up, emails to catch up on and phone calls to make. The house is a mess, the shopping needs to be done. There’s homework & housework. Appointments and meetings.
This is when you need to take a step back and start doing one thing at a time. If like me you have a list then actually look at it, prioritise it. Cross off the ridiculous things that just don’t matter and focus on the things that do.
Once things start to be completed, once you’ve totally focused on something you will finally feel like you’re getting somewhere.
OTHER PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUR PROBLEM
When we’re talking about being upset over things we have no control over, usually those situations involve other people, be it a friendship or relationship problem, or a workplace scenario, the first thing you need to realise is that the way other people are dealing with whatever the perceived issue is, is not your problem.
I tend to take on other people’s problems as my own, to worry about it and try to fix it but you can’t always be, or find the solution. Sometimes they need to find the solution themselves. You can argue your point til your blue in face and seriously losing your shit but until they realise for themselves you are wasting your breath.
I would never totally offload it as someone else’s problem, and I’ll always try to help where I can but I will try to know when to back off. When to take back control of myself and deal with my own part in it.
YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR OWN BEHAVIOUR
You might not be able to control what’s going on around you, and you definitely should not try and control another person but you can take control of yourself.
You can learn from situations, you can learn from your own mistakes. You can take control of your own actions. Walk away from a situation or circumstance that isn’t working for you. Or you can make changes to improve things. We really need to know when to draw the line.
There’s nothing wrong with being a bit of a control freak as long as it doesn’t take control of you.