I’ve been loving writing more fashion & beauty posts for the blog but I’ve also been struggling with it too, struggling with my self confidence. I was really hoping that the more I had my photo taken the easier it would be but I still feel so awkward. I just don’t know what to do with myself, how to pose, where to look, what to do with my arms!I just can’t seem to get any natural shots, the hubby will literally take about 50 photos and I might find two that I like.
I’m so critical of myself. I’m not pretty enough, I’m not thin enough. I will literally pull apart every photo listing the things I dislike about the photo, my legs, my arms, my pose.
But I was just the same when I started filming for my YouTube channel, This Mama Vlogs. The first video I filmed literally took me about 12 months to post as I just couldn’t build up the confidence. Would it be good enough? Would people watch it? What would they think? And it was only a buggy review not even one where I was putting myself out there.
I recently filmed a couple of makeup tutorials. I’ve wanted to do this for years, but again was just too critical of myself. All the other YouTubers were stunning. Perfect hair, perfect makeup. Gorgeous backdrops & stunning houses they were filming in. Again I just didn’t feel good enough, with my eye bags & wrinkles, filming in my little two bedroom terrace.
How ridiculous at 36 years old that I still feel like this?
But I’m getting much more relaxed in front of the camera when I’m filming for YouTube & I think it shows in my latest videos, I can’t believe how far I’ve come.
I’m not a pretty little 20 something and I ok with that. I’m a 36 year old mum of two and I want my beauty & fashion posts to reflect that. To be something that other mums my age can relate too. A lot of the beauty & style posts I’m seeing are amazing but they just aren’t relevant to me, as much as I do love watching them they just aren’t useful to me.
The clothing just wouldn’t suit me, I need my jeans to cover my mum tum & there’ll be no crop tops on my blog. I can’t spend hours on my makeup, I’ve got too much to do in a morning to be spending hours getting ready. I need to be ready in about 10 minutes. Plus all that Kardashian style concealer & ‘baking’ your makeup just makes my fine lines & pores even worse!
So hopefully I’ll soon feel the same about my style shots & fashion posts. I love writing them. I love styling the outfits, thinking about what to wear & trying new styles. It feels amazing to break out of my mum uniform of leggings and a t-shirt, to find other comfy, casual outfits that are actually stylish too.
I want to help other mums that are in my position now, not knowing what to wear or wondering what will suit them. I want to show other busy mums that we can look good with only 10 minutes to get ready. That we deserve to spend a bit of time pampering ourselves, or treating ourselves to that new outfit. To help other mums find their style to just like I’m finding mine.
So what do you think? Perhaps I am cut out to be a style blogger after all?