If you ask me what I want out of life, my answers will revolve around my boys. I want to be a good mum, I want them to be happy & healthy. I want them to achieve everything they want to achieve. My boys & my husband are my world, and they always come first.
But should they?
When you love someone, you want them to be happy, you want to make them happy. They are important to you, their wants, needs & desires are important to you. But that doesn’t mean that your wants and needs are less important, and that’s something that’s taken me a long time to realise.
Along the way I’ve kind of forgotten about me. I’ve been so busy being mum & wife, being everything I need and want to be for them that I’ve always put myself to the back of the list. I love that my life revolves around them, in fact I wouldn’t have it any other way but as parents we also need to realise that we need a little time for us too, just us.
I’ve been running on empty for a long time now, ploughing all my energy into just getting through each day. Archie has Autism and with that comes both parenting struggles but some amazing moments too. He’s a little super star but I’ll admit that it’s hard work too.
He doesn’t sleep very well, a good night is him waking about five times a night. On a bad night I might not even go to bed, ploughing through with appointments, work and everything else I need to do until the next night when I might be able to get just a little sleep again.
Even though I’m exhausted, I still put myself last. There’s always something that needs to be done, something else that has more priority than me having a sleep. But putting myself last isn’t going to in my boys best interests in the long run.
I’ve come to realise that resting isn’t an option, it’s a requirement. Sometimes we need a break, and that’s not being selfish, it’s recuperating so that we can continue to be good parents.
Stress, anxiety & exhaustion isn’t good for anyone. It’s not good for the parents and it’s not good for the kids. We all get stressed & tired but its how we get past it that matters. You might need a night out with friends, or to spend some time with your favourite book.
There’s only so long you can run on empty, you might think that you are doing others a favor by putting yourself last in order to be there for them, but the truth is that sometimes, just sometimes you need to put yourself first.