I had no intention of writing about depression again so soon after my previous two posts, in fact I’d scheduled a light hearted ‘Style Crush’ post for today but I can’t post something so trivial after waking up to the deeply sad news of Robin Williams’ death this morning. I grew up with his smile, with him making me smile but behind that smile was a deep depression, “It’s not caused by anything, it’s just there,” he said. “It waits. It lays in wait for the time when you think, ‘It’s fine now, I’m OK.’ Then, the next thing you know, it’s not OK.” This quote describes exactly how I feel, I get through the day without people realising there’s anything wrong, I keep myself busy with work, with the kids but then something seemingly trivial happens and it’s not ok. (You can read more about that here)
My heart breaks for his family, his wife & children, but to those that will be saying how selfish suicide is, you don’t know how hard it is to live with this illness every day. Suicide was not an easy option, a selfish option, it was for him and so many others the only option they can see to escape the torture of your own mind.
Can you imagine that? Having to fight yourself every day just to stay alive? Thankfully my thoughts have not gone this dark for many years but for some people its a daily occurrence. Please, if you are reading this and you have any thoughts of hurting yourself, speak to someone, speak to me, speak to any body.
You deserve to be happy & healthy, we all do
If you need information or advice about mental health problems, or need somewhere to turn for support, call the Mind Infoline on 0300 123 3393 or call Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90