We’ve all been there, we’ve all felt the mum guilt over something.
Maybe when you started back at work, maybe for taking a weekend break or a night away from the kids, or even because you didn’t bake cupcakes for the school coffee morning. It seems to always be there, mum guilt over something or everything!
I’ve felt it so many times. I felt guilty when my mum looked after my eldest when I went back to Uni. I felt it when I went back work after graduating. I felt it when all the other mums seemed to be natural mothers and I couldn’t breastfeed my boys longer than a fortnight. I felt it when sitting on the bedroom floor willing my boy to sleep.
But I’m saying no, I’m not going to do it to myself anymore.
Life’s hard, really bloody hard. I’m exhausted from lack of sleep. Archie’s like the Duracell bunny, needing only a couple of minutes to recharge his batteries before he’s back running riot. He doesn’t sleep, waking up at least five times a night, sometimes even pulling an all nighter, plus we’re fully ordained members of the 5 o’clock club.
He started nursery this September, although because he goes to a Special Needs school because of his Autism he goes full time rather than part time, and I refuse to feel the mum guilt for enjoying the time to myself.
Yes I miss the little monster like crazy and I feel like I’ve lost a year with him as he’s gone full time a year early but I also need time for me and I won’t feel guilty for that.
I have a business to run as well as being a mum & wife. I’m a working mum & stay at home mum rolled into one. The household is my responsibility whilst the hubby is at work. The school run, packed lunches, homework. All me.
My nights can be just as long as my days so I won’t feel guilty if I need a nap during the day after being up all night. I won’t feel guilty for sitting down for an hour with a brew in front of the TV watching Jeremy Kyle if I need a break.
I won’t feel guilty for spending the day on the laptop, working on my blog or using social media. It’s not only my hobby but now my job.
I need something other than motherhood. I was a mum at 19 for the first time and a mum at 30 for the second time. I’ve been a mum all my adult life so I won’t feel guilty for needing to be something other than a mum.
I’m happy that I’ve got extra time during the day to work as it means I’m not working all evening until I fall into bed exhausted. I’ve finally got some of my evenings back to spend some time with the hubby.
I love that I can hit the gym at any point during the day without having to worry about childcare. I can work off my stress and clear my head at a time that suits me.
I love that I can recharge my own batteries during the day so when the boys come home I’ve got the energy to play and mess around and be fun mum instead of tired mum.
So I won’t feel guilty for having some me time. Spending some time & energy on me means I don’t feel like I’ll breakdown at any point. It means that I’m not running myself into the ground. It means that I feel like I can breathe.
I’m so over mum guilt, what about you?