We’ve all been there, we’ve all felt the mum guilt over something.
Maybe when you started back at work, maybe for taking a weekend break or a night away from the kids, or even because you didn’t bake cupcakes for the school coffee morning. It seems to always be there, mum guilt over something or everything!
I’ve felt it so many times. I felt guilty when my mum looked after my eldest when I went back to Uni. I felt it when I went back work after graduating. I felt it when all the other mums seemed to be natural mothers and I couldn’t breastfeed my boys longer than a fortnight. I felt it when sitting on the bedroom floor willing my boy to sleep.
But I’m saying no, I’m not going to do it to myself anymore.
Life’s hard, really bloody hard. I’m exhausted from lack of sleep. Archie’s like the Duracell bunny, needing only a couple of minutes to recharge his batteries before he’s back running riot. He doesn’t sleep, waking up at least five times a night, sometimes even pulling an all nighter, plus we’re fully ordained members of the 5 o’clock club.
He started nursery this September, although because he goes to a Special Needs school because of his Autism he goes full time rather than part time, and I refuse to feel the mum guilt for enjoying the time to myself.
Yes I miss the little monster like crazy and I feel like I’ve lost a year with him as he’s gone full time a year early but I also need time for me and I won’t feel guilty for that.
I have a business to run as well as being a mum & wife. I’m a working mum & stay at home mum rolled into one. The household is my responsibility whilst the hubby is at work. The school run, packed lunches, homework. All me.
My nights can be just as long as my days so I won’t feel guilty if I need a nap during the day after being up all night. I won’t feel guilty for sitting down for an hour with a brew in front of the TV watching Jeremy Kyle if I need a break.
I won’t feel guilty for spending the day on the laptop, working on my blog or using social media. It’s not only my hobby but now my job.
I need something other than motherhood. I was a mum at 19 for the first time and a mum at 30 for the second time. I’ve been a mum all my adult life so I won’t feel guilty for needing to be something other than a mum.
I’m happy that I’ve got extra time during the day to work as it means I’m not working all evening until I fall into bed exhausted. I’ve finally got some of my evenings back to spend some time with the hubby.
I love that I can hit the gym at any point during the day without having to worry about childcare. I can work off my stress and clear my head at a time that suits me.
I love that I can recharge my own batteries during the day so when the boys come home I’ve got the energy to play and mess around and be fun mum instead of tired mum.
So I won’t feel guilty for having some me time. Spending some time & energy on me means I don’t feel like I’ll breakdown at any point. It means that I’m not running myself into the ground. It means that I feel like I can breathe.
I’m so over mum guilt, what about you?
Amen to that. I”m so glad you’re over it! It’s difficult when we have so much high expectations on ourselves isn’t it? Well done to you 🙂
Dean of Little Steps recently posted…Music and Memories
Thanks Dean. My life is so absorbed by being everything to everyone else that I won’t feel guilty for having some time for me when the little man is at school
Toni | Gym Bunny Mummy recently posted…HELP, SHOULD WE GET A CONSERVATORY?
Yes to all of that! Good for you hun.
We are an awesome bunch us Mums, our bit of ‘me time’ is well earned I reckon 🙂 x
Jayne @ Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs recently posted…Mums That Mean Business Featuring Cherry Blossom Gifts
Exactly, my days are 24 hours as Archie doesn’t sleep so I’m not going to feel bad for the times when I need a little break x
Toni | Gym Bunny Mummy recently posted…OUR WEEKLY MEAL PLAN | 3RD OCTOBER 2016
I always feel guilty when I take some me time, although it very rarely happens!
Lyndsey O’Halloran recently posted…Momosiki Clothing
We really should stop feeling bad for taking time for us. It’s one thing sitting in front of tv all but completely different to just take a little time out when we do so much for our families
Toni | Gym Bunny Mummy recently posted…HELP, SHOULD WE GET A CONSERVATORY?
I think it’s natural to need something more, and having balance is ok. Both my kids go to nursery and they love it and I enjoy the break from them and appreciate the time I have with them more and that’s ok
Zena’s Suitcase recently posted…Disney On Ice Presents Frozen in Nottingham For The First Time
Exactly Zena, enjoying a break away from the kids doesn’t mean we’re bad mums it just means we get a little time to recharge
Toni | Gym Bunny Mummy recently posted…5 WAYS TO GET YOUR KIDS TO EAT HEALTHIER
Great post! I definetly agree with you. I feel guilty all the time when I have to attend events or I have planned a night with friends/the OH. My little guy loves his gran and we have plenty of people he enjoys spending time with but I always feel guilty when I’m doing something that’s not with him. I want to be with him all the time but my gran tells me constantly that I still need my identity and I do so much with him already that I shouldn’t feel guilty for that me time. I love this post, good for you!
Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk
Jordanne | Thelifeofaglasgowgirl recently posted…#MeetTheBeauties ││ Ana FadedSpring
Thanks Jordanne, I’m totally done with making myself feel bad. I bloody work hard for the kids, the house, with my business so I won’t feel guilty for enjoying a little break
Toni | Gym Bunny Mummy recently posted…SAYING NO TO THE MUM GUILT, I’M OVER IT
Great post! I’m not a mum but the guilts get me too. It’s such a waste of emotion and energy but giving up on it is so hard. It’s so healthy to try and give up the guilt, and something I need to do myself. xx
This is a fab post. I really needed to read this this week. I went back to work and have battled mum guilt all week. Well done you. You deserve to enjoy yourself. Xx
Kerry Norris recently posted…Mama Style – Stylish Coats For The School Run
Fantastic post, thank you! I’m so fed up of the mummy guilt, we do so much for all everyone. You are so right it’s time to get rid of the guilt!
Tooting Mama recently posted…I love Lenny, why email newsletters are making a comeback
Couldn’t agree more! Well done for getting rid of the guilt!
Evelina recently posted…Ready For Fall
Good for you! I think there definitely comes a time when you realise you are allowed to out yourself first sometimes without feeling guilty. Especially as you will have of course made sure that your kids are safe, well cared for, etc. first. Glad you’re enjoying some time for yourself xx
Having time to yourself is so important esp if your child is a non sleeper. You cant look after your child till you look after yourself. Ive got another year before my eldest goes to nursery and I’m secretly looking forward to it. He is also non stop and is going thru the terrible twos.
#twinkly tuesday