Saying no to the mum guilt and why I'm so over it!

We’ve all been there, we’ve all felt the mum guilt over something.

Maybe when you started back at work, maybe for taking a weekend break or a night away from the kids, or even because you didn’t bake cupcakes for the school coffee morning. It seems to always be there, mum guilt over something or everything!

I’ve felt it so many times. I felt guilty when my mum looked after my eldest when I went back to Uni. I felt it when I went back work after graduating. I felt it when all the other mums seemed to be natural mothers and I couldn’t breastfeed my boys longer than a fortnight. I felt it when sitting on the bedroom floor willing my boy to sleep.

But I’m saying no, I’m not going to do it to myself anymore.

Life’s hard, really bloody hard. I’m exhausted from lack of sleep. Archie’s like the Duracell bunny, needing only a couple of minutes to recharge his batteries before he’s back running riot. He doesn’t sleep, waking up at least five times a night, sometimes even pulling an all nighter, plus we’re fully ordained members of the 5 o’clock club.

He started nursery this September, although because he goes to a Special Needs school because of his Autism he goes full time rather than part time, and I refuse to feel the mum guilt for enjoying the time to myself.

Yes I miss the little monster like crazy and I feel like I’ve lost a year with him as he’s gone full time a year early but I also need time for me and I won’t feel guilty for that.

Saying no to the mum guilt and why I'm so over it

I have a business to run as well as being a mum & wife. I’m a working mum & stay at home mum rolled into one. The household is my responsibility whilst the hubby is at work. The school run, packed lunches, homework. All me.

My nights can be just as long as my days so I won’t feel guilty if I need a nap during the day after being up all night. I won’t feel guilty for sitting down for an hour with a brew in front of the TV watching Jeremy Kyle if I need a break.

I won’t feel guilty for spending the day on the laptop, working on my blog or using social media. It’s not only my hobby but now my job.

I need something other than motherhood. I was a mum at 19 for the first time and a mum at 30 for the second time. I’ve been a mum all my adult life so I won’t feel guilty for needing to be something other than a mum.

I’m happy that I’ve got extra time during the day to work as it means I’m not working all evening until I fall into bed exhausted. I’ve finally got some of my evenings back to spend some time with the hubby.

I love that I can hit the gym at any point during the day without having to worry about childcare. I can work off my stress and clear my head at a time that suits me.

Saying no to the mum guilt

I love that I can recharge my own batteries during the day so when the boys come home I’ve got the energy to play and mess around and be fun mum instead of tired mum.

So I won’t feel guilty for having some me time. Spending some time & energy on me means I don’t feel like I’ll breakdown at any point. It means that I’m not running myself into the ground. It means that I feel like I can breathe.

I’m so over mum guilt, what about you?

This Mama Blogs
This Mama Blogs

Life & Style for Busy Mums • Finding my style again • Lover of fashion & makeup • Autism Mama • Mum bun wearer • Slimming World Foodie • Partial to a G&T • Shops a little too much… • follow on Bloglovin’ so you never miss a post

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  1. October 7, 2016 / 1:42 pm

    Amen to that. I”m so glad you’re over it! It’s difficult when we have so much high expectations on ourselves isn’t it? Well done to you 🙂
    Dean of Little Steps recently posted…Music and MemoriesMy Profile

    • October 8, 2016 / 9:31 am

      We really should stop feeling bad for taking time for us. It’s one thing sitting in front of tv all but completely different to just take a little time out when we do so much for our families
      Toni | Gym Bunny Mummy recently posted…HELP, SHOULD WE GET A CONSERVATORY?My Profile

  2. October 8, 2016 / 6:31 am

    Great post! I definetly agree with you. I feel guilty all the time when I have to attend events or I have planned a night with friends/the OH. My little guy loves his gran and we have plenty of people he enjoys spending time with but I always feel guilty when I’m doing something that’s not with him. I want to be with him all the time but my gran tells me constantly that I still need my identity and I do so much with him already that I shouldn’t feel guilty for that me time. I love this post, good for you!

    Jordanne ||
    Jordanne | Thelifeofaglasgowgirl recently posted…#MeetTheBeauties ││ Ana FadedSpringMy Profile

  3. October 8, 2016 / 10:32 am

    Great post! I’m not a mum but the guilts get me too. It’s such a waste of emotion and energy but giving up on it is so hard. It’s so healthy to try and give up the guilt, and something I need to do myself. xx

  4. October 10, 2016 / 12:07 pm

    Couldn’t agree more! Well done for getting rid of the guilt!
    Evelina recently posted…Ready For FallMy Profile

  5. October 11, 2016 / 8:17 am

    Good for you! I think there definitely comes a time when you realise you are allowed to out yourself first sometimes without feeling guilty. Especially as you will have of course made sure that your kids are safe, well cared for, etc. first. Glad you’re enjoying some time for yourself xx

  6. October 11, 2016 / 10:07 pm

    Having time to yourself is so important esp if your child is a non sleeper. You cant look after your child till you look after yourself. Ive got another year before my eldest goes to nursery and I’m secretly looking forward to it. He is also non stop and is going thru the terrible twos.
    #twinkly tuesday

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