So this is me… a 30 something Yorkshire lass living near Manchester with my gorgeous hubby & kids. Our home life is a bit crazy with a teenager & a toddler, plus I run my cake decorating business Handmade Queen // Cakes & Partyware from home so on a day to day basis it’s just crazy trying to fit it all in, especially trying to find time to get to the gym too but I wouldn’t change my life for the world, I love it!
I suffer from Postnatal Depression & Anxiety, which I’ve never really discussed with anyone but my hubby, but I think its about time I did and this is my first step. After meeting @messedupmum at a recent event and talking to her about her mental health issues I think it’s about time I stopped holding everything in and trying to cope on my own.
Working from home means that I’m on my own with no adult company all day, to be honest apart from going to the gym I barely leave the house. The gym has been amazing in helping me to begin to feel more positive, exercise has become a great distraction and something to focus on but at the same time my self-doubt & anxiety can really raise its head in the gym. ‘I’m not fit enough’, ‘slim enough’, ‘what if I’m not doing the exercises properly and people laugh at me?’, ‘why am I not losing enough weight?’. Sometimes I’ll be doing a class and looking in the mirror at everything I hate about myself, but I’m finding that my positive feelings are beginning to out weigh the negatives in the gym as I can start to see changes in my body, I am getting leaner, my tummy is beginning to get smaller. This is not about being vain, it’s about knowing I can work hard to achieve something for me.
I’ve still got a long way to go in order to be happy with me, both physically & mentally having to battle with myself but this is me for now and I’m beginning to feel happy being me.